It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
