Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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