we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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