chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
