So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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