i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
