Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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