Define "chronic" masturbator.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize