Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
