You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
