they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
well I can't set my house on fire every night
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
