burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
