i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
