On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize