Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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