Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
