So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
