I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable