is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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