AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
