just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
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I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
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he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.