its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
