You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm just crazy horny about you
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
