you guys were way drunker than both of me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
