I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
