You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
