i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
