i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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