Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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