He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
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It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
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That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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