i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
