we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
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Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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