He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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