I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
