oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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