I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
