After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
