can we get nightvision for the apartment?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
