Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
