Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just high enough for therapy.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
