Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
