I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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