It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't think brook has ever known best
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
