I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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