Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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