You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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