Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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