dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
