last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
