hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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