He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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