a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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