Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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