its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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