I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
