i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Randomize
