Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
