I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
