so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
