She's JV to your varsity
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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