The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
