Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
