i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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