Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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