i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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