I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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