this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
