Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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