We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
