Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize